Violet is clearly overcome with emotion. I look a little scrunched because the camera was on timer and I didn't have a chair. You will also notice that Nancy is here, too. It's really nice to have Nancy around. Aside from Nancy wanting to hang out with Violet she is also here to hang out with Joanna.I won't beat around the bush, Joanna is having some postpartum depression symptoms. It kills me to see Joanna so upset and anxious. The worst part is that I can't do anything about it. For those of you unfamiliar with anxiety attacks and depressive symptoms, no amount of reason or talking can soothe the situation. By definition, anxiety is anti-reason. The only thing that helps is physical contact (hugs, hand holding) and constant reassurance via redirection of the anxious energy.
The point is that I really want to keep Joanna's symptoms from getting any worse. For a good portion of the day Joanna does emotionally OK. This changes when the sun begins to set and gets worse until about 9 PM when her mood stabilizes a bit. The exact linear combination of how much of this is hormone related vs. sleep deprivation vs. being completely overwhelmed by the amount of attention a 1 week old requires misses the point. What is important is that Joanna needs support. So I arranged with Bruce to meet me at the truck stop in Burley, ID to pick up Nancy so she could spend some time here.
It seems to be working out well. Nancy made us some great tasting dinner and also the chocolate cake thing for Vi's birthday. Nancy kept Joanna talking through the afternoon and early evening. Then Nancy and I took care of Violet so Joanna could try to really sleep and not feel like she had to keep checking on Violet all the time. Nancy's presence will also make it easier for me to be at work and not feel shitty about not being home to help my struggling wife. So if you are reading this, and you want to help, give us a call now and then. Any time of day is fine, though early evening will help Joanna the most. Shoot the shit, talk about family/friends, the weather, office politics, whatever crosses your mind. The goal is to get Joanna past The David Letterman Show when it's already so late that we are both too tired even to be anxious anymore.
2 comments:
Congratulations Mike and Joanna! Violet is just a doll!
Remember, I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so Joanna, if you need someone to talk to, you can always give me a call or send me an email, Ok? I remember feeling that I had NO control over my emotions after Ian was born and it's so frustrating. So please, call me/email me and I'd be happy to talk!
Take care, and sleep when you can!
Cheryl
Hey, you can call me anytime. Even at work. Seriously. And yeah, I remember that feeling. No sleep and hormones going crazy. On the upside she will grow and sleep more regularly and breast feeding gets much much much easier.
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